boundaries

when i first started recovery in codependency , boundaries were very scary and i was not willing to set any . i also was unaware why . i found out that it meant i had to love myself enough to set them , put the focus back on myself and take it off what people , especially the ones i love were or were not doing that i thought they should be doing and i also needed to check my motives ? heres a few ...why am setting this and do have an unrealistic expectation? am i trying to change someone /thing or manipulate ? also, i do not need to announce my boundary , its only for me often.                                                                                               

living life on lifes terms is easier said then done and with practice ,practice it has been achieved and NOT perfectly